my Novel

[theevilgood]

So... I'm writing a novel, and I'm wondering if I should post it here, with the risk of someone stealing it :/

[Blobfish]

You can just post part of it, if you like. Or just the summary. I've posted just the first 5k words on places before, so I can get a crit.

What's it about and how long is it?

[theasianguy]

Better be fantasy type, because those I love.

[theevilgood]

It's a Sci-Fi fantasy mix. Namely because in Sci-Fi, you're supposed to be able to explain everything that happens

[Jiin6]

Star treky...

[Blobfish]

Hehe, sounds cool. I want to read it. Pweeese post it? I'll post some of my work too.

[theevilgood]

Hehe
IIRC, I named it Twisted Fates. It's more... genetic expirementy than Trek

[theasianguy]

Sounds cool. Post it, because I've got nothing better to do

[Jiin6]

bordom can do terrible things, POST it...

[theevilgood]

A falshback form one of the characters of my story

A girl sits quietly in a small, dank room. She can be no more than twelve. She sits quietly, knowing the guards will torment her if she is too loud. This place is notoriously famous for brutality, even among the various Arms of Heaven facilities.
The girl is Reia, and it has been three years since she was taken from her home. Mike hasn’t seen her in years and she wonders whether he’s missing her. After all, with her out of the way, Mike could have finally become popular. Reia regrets never being normal, so that Mike could have been normal and accepted too. But the other children had been mean, and they had no reason to.
Reia’s thoughts are broken as a man steps into her cell. He is tall, and his hair is excessively short. His muscles bulge, as though he works out constantly. His uniform is that of a standard security guard, which resembles a police uniform, but with several key changes. His badge sports the Arms of Heaven symbols. He is carrying a fully automatic assault rifle, two semi automatic pistols, and a baton.
He hits her head with a baton, and quickly uses her state of shock to subdue her. He doesn’t need to, but he is forceful nonetheless. He drags her, dazed, to the experimentation chambers. He slams her down onto the table, smiling viciously. He obviously enjoys smacking around the girl. His hand snakes along her shirt, along her stomach. His devilish smile shows what he is thinking.
A voice breaks the hellish silence. “If you sexually violate my test subject, Officer, then I’ll see to it you never again enjoy the sight of your family,” says an authoritative voice. A man steps up. He is obviously nowhere near strong enough to subdue the man. He is, in fact, scrawny, and obviously weak. His hair does not go past his ears, and he wears glasses. He is, of course, wearing a white lab coat, as does every scientist in the entire facility. However, he is the only one within the room. The others have not arrived.
But, again, the guard says nothing, and keeps still. The reason is clearly visible. The scientist is holding a injection gun. Within is a vial of serum that would change the guard’s life for the worse. It is designed for use only on those who have been previously tested upon. Reia has undergone these tests, and is to be the first to be given this serum. She is ready for it, physically. The guard, however, is not. If he were to be injected, he would be horrendously mutated, if his head didn’t explode first.
The scientist now turns to Reia. “Don’t worry, little girl,” he says, his voice with a heavy Scottish accent, “we may not like you, or care for your survival. We are, however, above rape. Unfortunately, some of our guards seem to forget what happens to people who violate our test subjects.” The guard winces as he says this. It is obvious that this has happened before.
“Now, we will get to the testing, little girl. Today, we are going to be doing some intensive testing,” he says, pulling out a scalpel, and rolling Reia over so that she is face down on the desk. He slides up her shirt in the back, and looks for his point to begin testing. “Little girl, you are about to feel some excruciating pain. But worry not, you shall not die today. This testing is safer than it sounds,” he says. His voice harbors no care. He is simply informing his test subject. He does not want her to die only because he will lose a valuable subject. But he does not care if she does.
It is at this point that he begins his work. He pushes the scalpel into her back, and begins to slice down. Reia screams wildly in pain. As the scientist reaches the top of her pants, he pulls the knife out, and pulls the cut open to investigate. This causes Reia to scream even louder. The scientist is disappointed. His cut is not deep enough. He works the scalpel along her back again. This deepens, as well as widens, the cut. He smiles, and Reia continues to scream. The scientist pokes his fingers throughout her insides, causing even more pain to the helpless girl.
He is surveying what the various solutions and alterations have done to her insides. It has tightened her muscles, making her stronger, as well as increased the effectiveness of her organs, allowing her to survive in harsher conditions. This would be useful to their testing today.
The scientist takes out the solution, which he had set upon the operation table. He injects it as deep into her as he can, and Reia screams and shakes violently as he pulls out the needle. She squirms and writhes upon the table, screaming loudly. She begins to continually scream out Mike’s name, as though calling for him would bring him to her eventually.
The serum begins to take effect quickly. After a small while of Reia screaming, the wound on her back suddenly heals rapidly. Her screaming subsides and she twitches upon the table. She constantly whispers Mike’s name, even as the guard slips her off the table, carrying her away, to return her to her cell…

[theasianguy]

*jaw drops to the floor*
O_O_O_O
I feel sorry for the girl....
You get a 9 out of ten.

[ghostonline92]

hooboy....

9/10

[theevilgood]

theasianguy said:

*jaw drops to the floor*
O_O_O_O
I feel sorry for the girl....
You get a 9 out of ten.

Rest assured, this is from chapter two, and she is going to get rescued in chapter 3 or four. In fact... well... how about I just post what I have so far. As long as you guys promise not to steal it as your own

[theevilgood]

For now, you guys get the back of the book and the prologue. The story is called Twisted Fates

On back of book: Close ties lead to desperate adventures as a man, tracing down an old friend, bites off more than he could ever possibly hope to chew. He becomes caught up in a hellish world of death, pain, and darkness. Now, constantly on the run, he must fight for his life, or lose everything. What can anyone do in the face of extraordinary dangers?

Prologue

“You know, many great people have believed that there’s no such thing as good or evil. They say it’s just actions that affect people in negative or positive ways. To me, it was always gibberish. Hell, I didn’t even care for the longest time. Not until that time. On that specific day, a series of events was set in motion. A series of events that would take me through what I thought to be impossible. That’s when I learned the truth. Those people… they’re still just gibberish to me. Even if that gibberish is slightly more clear. However, I do know at least one thing. The actions that took place during that time would bring out the best and worst in me. Turn me into an angel, and, at the same time, a hellish beast. I will never forget those actions. The actions that day will never, ever be forgotten. Not in a lifetime, not in a million lifetimes. That day… I never would have known what would happen. If I had, I don’t know if I’d have gone through it all. Maybe I would have… but what ifs are pointless. At least they are now. It was cold that day… somewhat normal, but not. And with the things that transpired on that day… it began.”

[Jiin6]

Ummm errr....i've got nothing bad too say.

Also I shouldn't have to say this, but, remember to post in the RP's